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Hanging on by a Cord

I’m dying to cut the cord and I can’t.

I’m being held as a cable hostage by Kevin Durant, Kristaps Porzingis’ knee and one of the worst humans out there — James Dolan.

Bear with me, this will make sense. Maybe.

Like many of you, the more my wife and I spend 90% of our TV time streaming Netflix, or the kids watching VOD episodes of season nine “Ninjago” (yes, there are nine seasons), I wonder, why are we paying for cable? Why?

Because sports.

Again, you are wondering, ‘but Mike,’ there are sports skinny bundles out there, right? Sling TV has ESPN and it’s cheap. YouTube TV was all over the World Series, and they have sports, right?

Not all of it.

Trust me, I’m dying to try YouTube TV, or Hulu Live. If nothing else for the promise of better channel navigation. If anyone is going to improve the horror movie that is the average cable electronic programming guide, I’d bet it’s the company that brought you search (google) or the company that made OTT beautiful (Hulu). I’m ready to ditch FIOS and sign on with either right now.

But even though both services have loads of sports neither YouTube TV or Hulu Live have MSG Network.

MSG Network, which is owned by the notoriously infantile and ineffectual cable titan James Dolan, broadcasts the Knicks. Ever since Dolan took over the team, the Knicks have been characterized by roughly 20 years of garbage.

Mike, the Knicks suck. Why do you care? Plus, you said last year that you were cutting the cord to spite the Knicks and James Dolan. What happened?

Well, at that time I was planning on killing cable to spite Dolan and then Knick president Phil Jackson because he was threatening to trade the Knicks budding young star Porzingis because he blew off an interview.

Five days later, Jackson was fired. My job was done, so I kept cable.

Still, I’ve been dying to leave. I’m a digital guy after all. But while I can get ESPN and YES Network (which airs the Yankees) on lots of services, when it comes to skinny bundles, MSG network is only available on DirecTV Now, and Fubo TV.

Fubo TV is actually an impressive, sports-oriented service. It’s awesome for obsessive soccer fans. The company has actually had impressive subscriber growth and has just raised a whopping $75 million bucks.

I’d jump in on Fubo! Except no ESPN.

As much as ESPN isn’t as relevant as it once was, it still airs tons of college football, NBA, etc. I can’t give it up.

As for DirecTV Now – well, let’s just say the reviews have not been great. It seems more like subpar cable. No thanks.

But again, Mike, the Knicks are horrible again. Porzingis is rehabing an ACL tear.

And you can screw over Dolan (who in recent years had beloved Knick Charles Oakley dragged out of Madison Square Garden and apparently banned WFAN from talking to anyone on the team because a station host criticized him over a tone-deaf Me Too song ((seriously)).

Ok. but let’s put my fandom in perspective. Not long ago, I was considering whether I’d ever move for a job in San Francisco. One of my first thoughts, besides cost of living and school systems concerns, was, ‘what if the Knicks won while I was gone?’

Plus, but Porzingis seems hugely motivated. Did you see his Player’s Tribune post? He’s doing cool exercises. I can’t miss that comeback.

And of course, there’s Kevin Durant. The Golden State Warriors super star seems to maybe, sorta, could be considering signing with the Knicks news year. I’m not missing that just so I can brag about paying a few bucks less for PlayStation TV or whatever bundle I try.

So I’m stuck with cable, and Dolan. Please YouTube, Hulu, get some MSG and put me out of my cord misery.

 

Image via www.vpnsrus.com